You're a womanizer and a bitch.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
