The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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