i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
