Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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