Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
