Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
