I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
