real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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