Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
