dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
