I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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