he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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