Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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