Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
