My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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