what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
