What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize