wanna go halves on a baby?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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