No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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