Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
