I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
