Barsexuality is the new black.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
