go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he laminated a picture of his dick.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
