I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
