rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
