well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
