do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My life is pants optional.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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