Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
