every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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