Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
