I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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