Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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