Can Purell be used as lube?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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