Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
