Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
