My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Can Purell be used as lube?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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