your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
