Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I forget how to act sober
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
