worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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