Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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