Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
