I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
