since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
