nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
