i'm signing you up for texting rehab
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
