So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Girls should come with a carfax report
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
