So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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