i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
