i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize