Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize