I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
