Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
