we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
