Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
