Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
