You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
