No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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