shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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