You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
