I accidentally had phone sex last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
