I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
