hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
