I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
