So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
