It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
