I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize