taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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