someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
