I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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