1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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