I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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