coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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