Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my shit smells like andre
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
