dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
