You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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