I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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