Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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