Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
