I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize