Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
